Do It Anyway

Where's the strength?

This might be my shortest letter yet. I’ve been wildly unmotivated to write, but because I promised one letter every month, this is me showing up.

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Chapter One: Introduction

We love telling people to do whatever they want to do no matter how they feel. Nike even turned it into a global mantra: Just Do It. Ni kini?

What happens to people like us who sometimes only have the strength to live, to breathe and survive?

“You won't always feel like doing it, but you have to do it anyway. That's discipline.”

You see, that's the problem. Doing it anyway is how we mass-produce mediocrity and produce dreams that are average.

Doing it anyway may not be the solution. Perhaps, that's part of our problem, as a nation, as individuals.

Chapter Two: Exhaustion

This month, I have been everything except the one thing I've always called myself. I've been a graphic designer, content creator, video editor, teacher, creative, but haven't had the time or peace of mind to be a writer. I haven't been able to do that which I supposedly love most.

The Pastor of my local church talked about discipline recently, and maybe you could say I’m lacking it. But honestly, after wrangling children all day (because the federal government apparently thinks I’m built for that assignment), all I want when I get home is my blanket, my bed, my babe and one mindless movie to de-stress.

Sometimes I can’t even read. Sometimes I have to force myself to eat. Productivity and consistency? Please.

Do it angry? Sure.

Do it doubtful? Happens.

Do it scared? Definitely.

But do it tired? That's where I'm found wanting and the fact that I'm mostly tired these days means I barely do anything that's not my day job.

I saw a meme that said, “The way I’m tired lately, if someone hugs me, I’ll stay there for hours.” That's about how I feel lately. When I see my babe, I go first hug am for five hours straight.

Chapter Three: Teaching

“Why would anyone choose to be a teacher?” I ask myself about 5 times everyday. Then I remember without teachers, half of us won’t have dreams or goals, be able to build a career or make anything worthwhile of ourselves. So maybe this calling makes sense in a roundabout, slightly painful way.

Chapter Four: Recommendation

I've been reading this interesting crime fiction series on Substack. It's titled Hollow Days and is fantastic! Read it here:

Chapter Five: Conclusion

Whatever it is you want to do, do it. Tired, bothered, angry, curious, doubtful; as long as it's not a sin, do it. If you know you're more productive with a certain emotion, mass produce when you feel that emotion. When another emotion kicks in, you can work on what you already have.

Like me writing this newsletter, do it anyway.

December is almost here and it's a little scary how this year is ending and another is approaching. New goals, new plans even while the nation falls apart.

Stay safe. Have a lovely December.